HE WON'T LET ME LEAVE
Why the Narcissist Won't
Seem to Let You Leave
1. Fear of abandonment
2. They are addicted to the fuel they get when their partner gets upset with them. They love the "game" and the Narcissist will only stop playing when he gets bored with his victim and is ready to move on to his next target; who was already has lined up, waiting.
Narcissistic Personality Disordered people crave narcissistic supply. They are addicted to it. It fuels the construct that is their False Self. With their true self incapacitated, dormant, comatose, etc., their False Self slips in to fill that role. The False Self is a reflection of what the NPD thinks they are. It requires constant upkeep.
Abandonment is a problem because it represents the loss of a source of narcissistic supply. It means they must seek replacement source(s). Its a juggling act. The fear of abandonment would be like the the anxiety of looking for the next source of water in a desert. It keeps them running on the hamster wheel.
They won't let you leave until they've found someone to fill your spot. The, they discard you like you never existed.
Sadly, their treatment of narcissistic supply sources is precisely what induces those sources into abandoning them. The abandonment happens to them over and over. Again and again. Its a self-fulfilling prophecy. They know its coming. Yet they continue to treat others wrong.
References:
Alex Falconi